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Mafia Gazette Past Issue 37
Thursday 29th September 'THE TRUTH BEHIND THE LIES ' A sad truth came to light yesterday following the death of Merc and the tragic suicide of his beloved wife. Many, including the newspaper, were informed that another boss had been the guilty party in the murder. Following a lengthy autopsy, the Chief Medical Examiner issued the statement that Merc had been shot using a police revolver and it is now known that Merc died following an attempt to jailbreak a friend while not in the best of health. Police have recently issued a statement confirming the findings of Dr Crippin and stating that a prison guard fired the fatal shot, although more than one was fired. The boss implicated in and cleared of the killing, GroveST, had this to say: “He was a good man and a friend. I hope he Rests In Peace. When a friend dies, you remember the good times not the bad.” 'CONTROVERSIAL LEADER OF THE SS STEPS DOWN ' By: Emilia On the eve of September 28th, the leader of the group "The Shadow Soldiers" publicly came forward to announce his resignation as head of this secretive organization. Relapsed wished the best of luck to the as yet unnamed new leader of the SS, and indicated, enigmatically, that he would "not be around much longer." Whether this statement is intended to mean he is planning an extended trip abroad, planning his suicide, or simply anticipating fire from his many enemies, only the future will tell. News of his resignation, labelled in his own words as surrender, drew comments of dismay from several well-known public figures, and many people expressed their support for Relapsed, including his fiancée devious_lover. TieDomi11 commented: "I think it's a sad thing. Relapsed is a good guy. I can't think of anyone better to run the SS. Some people might think bad of him for trying to claim a city. The first time I was in one of his conversations I joked around about it but he joked around right back showing that he's a great guy. Great sense of humour and of business. I admire him for stepping down though. He knew he wouldn't be able to devote his full time anymore but instead of trying to run the SS with half-effort, he did the honourable thing and stepped down to let somebody else who could put their full-effort into it take over." As with any controversial figure, Relapsed drew criticism as well as heartfelt comments with his announcement, but his supporters seemed to be in far more abundance. 'NOTES FROM THE ASYLUM #7 ' By: Lexicon Oh my! I'm feeling some tension in the Streets at the moment! I'm glad that I can seek solace within the walls of MZ's and, more specifically, the medicine store. If you find things are starting to get to you, feel free, one and all, to pop in for some quality time with the crazies... Recently at St. MZs: Paulo_Antonio_Vaccarelli is delighted with his first diagnosis since the grand unveiling of the "Fronsac Project". MadDog was yesterday diagnosed with a mastercheetobatory condition. He is responding well to treatment. In connection with the above case, there also appears to have been a break out of wider cheese-activity since moving to the new St.MZ facilities. Dr. Sefton FBI. BFG. FUBAR is investigated this, plus claims of a contaminated water supply. We shall be having an open day at St.MZ2's next week in a bid to encourage some more support from the wider community. Events will include sack races, drool-a-thons, plus free participation in drug trials. More details to come! 'COMMUNITY HIT LIST SHOT DOWN BY CRITICS ' By: Emilia For every good idea, there are 10 people sitting around waiting to find fault with it. This appears to be the case with a young enterprising entrepreneur known only as "hitlist" who announced his services on the street today as the community's "middleman" between contractors and hitmen. Soon after his announcement, he was shot dead. "You see all these hitman agencies around," Hitlist argued, " but they are limited to the hitmen they have on staff." He proposed a solution where anyone could mail him a name and a price, which he would publicly and prominently display, giving hitmen a convenient list of targets. Hitlist's service is reminiscent of years gone past when such a community list was extant, but has since been abolished by local and federal officials in recent mob crack downs. 'DISCUSSION POINT ' A concerned member of our society sent in the following discussion point. If anyone wishes to respond to it, please send your responses in to the newspaper to be printed in coming editions. If you have a discussion point topic you would like to air, please send it in to the Gazette for inclusion. Mugging To some an innocent, almost playful activity, to others, the bane of their lives. Muggers were generally thought of as disorganised, disrespectful characters who had no place in this world. However, I think that there is a new breed of mugger in this world and that he is more dangerous than ever. I recently shot a mugger whilst he was trying to mug me, and decided to talk to him as I have many other would-be-muggers. What he said was very similar to what I had heard from other muggers, but strangely hasn’t been discussed much. He (Meh_Meh) was saying that all his mugging money goes to a civilian, one amongst us who he refused to name. He also said that he had $2.3mil from muggings stored for him and that on a good day in a city I will not name, for fear of it becoming a haven of muggers, he could usually expect about $500,000 in a day. Meh_Meh also said the civilian had 4 – 5mil of his own cash and that it was all ready for when meh_meh’s relatives wanted to step onto the criminal ladder, stating that he could get his own bar and gang within 4 days and made shortly after. Is this a frightening thought, that there are those around us hoping to buy their way to positions of power with the proceeds of disrespectful street robbery? Or should we welcome the element of ambition and skill amongst this ever present minority? Or, is the increase in random mugging due to the ever decreasing ways to earn in this world? I for one have my views, but would like to see others. 'ANNOUNCEMENTS ' ENGAGEMENTS: We are pleased to announce the engagement of Saint Tom, son of the late DevilsPawn of Los Angeles, to Possessed, younger son of the late Jimmy of Detroit. The couple plan to marry within the next two of weeks and set up home in the “Groom’s” native city of Detroit. 'WE HEAR THAT… ' Gossip column by: Trixie ....Felipo was seen stumbling out of a bar around 4 am this morning with both his arms around two Very tall and hairy women. Our sneaky little reporter followed them down the street while they drunkenly sang Shanty songs of the sea. After their third attempt at "blow the man down" They Stumbled up the steps to Felipo's home where none of them were seen for hours. Poor, Poor Felipo. Take this as a lesson kids, don't drink and pick up women.... who are really men. You regret it come morning. ....Reaperoo threw a huge party last night inviting everyone of his closest and dearest friends. So all-night, while the stereo was blasting Kenny G, Reaperoo and BenStuart sat around drinking in their underwear and trying to maintain direct eye contact. ....Gwendolyn_Brooks has a strange problem. She went into St. MoneyZeb’s for a normal day of work and through it all, she was convinced that she was the only sane one in the whole hospital...which clearly makes her insane. But, Gwen and her trusty toaster continue on. 'CLASSIFIEDS ' Anyone wishing to place an ad should send it in to CarmelaDeAngelis at the Gazette Offices in Chicago. All ads are free, but must still fall within the set guidelines. 16:37, January 5, 2013 (UTC)16:37, January 5, 2013 (UTC)16:37, January 5, 2013 (UTC)Hice19 (talk) 16:37, January 5, 2013 (UTC) NEW FAMILY The Regiment's Doors are now Open MM Moonshine or Bez for An invite Smart, well thought out requests to join only The Regiment Prayer May the defence of the most high be above and beneath, around and within us, in our going out and our coming in, in our rising up and in our going down, all our days and all our nights, until the dawn when the Sun of Righteousness shall arise with healing in his wings for the peoples of the world. Through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen. 16:37, January 5, 2013 (UTC)16:37, January 5, 2013 (UTC)16:37, January 5, 2013 (UTC)Hice19 (talk) 16:37, January 5, 2013 (UTC) From: GroveST Sent: 2005-09-29 11:59 $$$$$ FOR SALE $$$$$ Dead Hussy $410,000 Chubby MoFo $450,000 Metallic General $700,000 Thirsty Victory $200,000 Scrawny Mouse $900,000 All Are Looked After Well. And Are Great Horses. Please Mob Mail GroveST...The Price We Can Talk About. Thank you. $$$$$ FOR SALE $$$$$ 16:37, January 5, 2013 (UTC)16:37, January 5, 2013 (UTC)16:37, January 5, 2013 (UTC)Hice19 (talk) 16:37, January 5, 2013 (UTC) Horses For sale!! Need these out of my stables, but should do well at someone else’s. Guarantees available Hurricane Maniac $240,000 ONO Your chance to get one of the last horses going for less than a 1/4Mil Clumsy Sam $400,000 ONO Consistently good placer, with a bit of luck and a few bets backing it, it should start earning a lot more Muddy Sneak $625,000 ONO Great runner and earner, bags of potential. Will offer money back if doesn't perform and insurance taken out!! Will give a discount if someone wants two or more. No Reasonable offer refused! MobMail me: JohnDavidson2 16:37, January 5, 2013 (UTC)16:37, January 5, 2013 (UTC)16:37, January 5, 2013 (UTC)Hice19 (talk) 16:37, January 5, 2013 (UTC) 'Anyone wishing to submit articles should do so by 10am Mafia time on the day of publications. Articles will be paid for on an individual basis. Please contact CarmelaDeAngelis, Editor of The Mafia Gazette, at the Gazette Offices, Chicago. All articles must conform to the guidelines available in the booklet “Newspaper Recruiting” available on the newsstand. ' http://pvp.a.mafia.org/gazette.php?issue=46